Benefit of the doubt, testing indeed in new friendships

So as I’ve gotten to try and know someone. I’ve come to realize the Q&A period is very much needed. Simple things for example: likes, dislikes, job, family. So this weekend I asked a question out of the blue on a scale from 1-10 how much do you like me?,  without hesitation he said a 6. Mouth dropped my insides dropped I felt like I got punched and got the wind knocked out of me. Am I being dramatic? Perhaps. I did say thanks for your honesty. First let me say less than 24 hours prior to this conversation he told me he likes everything about me, ummm ok. Not the response I expected, but again honesty is definitely preferred. Moving forward you would think that after that I’d be like later, nope not me I stuck around. I know part of it was cause I do like him other part is like really let me figure out why I measured on his scale. I know it’s not a factor of who I am as a person.  With that being said you know I had to bring it up later that evening, I asked why do you want to see me again  if I’m only a 6? He says cause I like you a lot, I totally don’t get it. His word choices in general are not always expressed best, he’s a computer nerd/genius the other day, I said why don’t you get that I like you, he says if you were a computer if would totally understand you, he was for real. I gotta chuckle in my head for that. Moving forward we spent another day together, I’m being nonchalant, because my guard is already up even before I heard his comment, (rating) but since my experience in the dating field has been, let’s say eye-opening. I’ve taken lots of good mental notes for the next time and so on. Moving forward we’re out to dinner and I asked a basic question, I asked so whats your middle name, he looked like I caught him off guard, he said actually that is my middle name  meaning the one he gave me as his first name, I’m squint eyed scratching my head so to speak, he was vague about it and changed the subject. Guess what that did for me?, yep red flag🔻🔼goes up. Okay I’ll play this round out, I’m too old for playing games, but the investigative over analytical self is on a task now. I told him just the other day, my trust factor with men is very minimal visually showed him by displaying my thumb and index finger to show the smallness. Only person to look out for me is ME. Now our weekend is coming to an end we had continental  breakfast together, (like that doesn’t give away where we are) went good so we go back to the room. So I suggest for some laundry before we go our separate ways and he says I don’t think my unit is up for it ( his description was a little different) I was rejected seriously my 1st thought as a woman ohhh hell no I’m so mad burning up inside. He tries to change the subject, he says where you running off to? I’m like dude you just rejected me, I get it well I don’t but really! As if, I went towards my stuff, he’s like your not leaving like this, he’s like I can see those eyes with your thoughts.  It’s reality, and yeah not a good feeling,  but I can go. He says come here he’s on the couch, I go he pulls me close and I’m  still ready to go. As I’m leaving still in my mind I tell him if you ever were my man, I would like never turn you down.  I guess that turned him on cause he grabbed me  and well you can fill in the rest, ummm  ok.  We go our separate ways and 1st thing I do is call 1 of my besties. Tell her some of my situation specifically the name thing and I said I’m thinking he has somebody else, even to the point that he could be married. She gives her input and says thats what I was thinking. (Smh) Oh my Gosh I would be so disgusted if that is  the info I discover. I asked her not to tell any of our mutual gfs, can you imagine how pathetic and embarrassing I’ll be. Blogging  about my life experiences not only helps me but may help someone else.


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